To Be Curious And Coach-like Creates Engagement

Please forgive the simplistic example above, and certainly no disrespect to anyone's people skills. But I want to make a point:

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The Holy Spirit has led you to a wonderful calling. But in todays world it is too easy to miss an opportunity to be present, engage, and converse. Becoming more coach-like is actually a learned habit. No one is born with great communication skills. They are learned, even though one's CliftonStrengths report shows the right mix of talent themes. Talents, when developed, become strengths. Use your strengths to become a good communicator.

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The Deacon's Bench coaching program is delivered in two parts. The first is for you to know how God uniquely designed you. The CliftonStrengths has been adopted by numerous parishes and Catholic organizations for self and mutual actualization. God made you specifically and for a purpose. Start by discovering who you are in God. The second part is to take the knowledge of your strengths and apply it to being coach-like in your engagement with parishioners. 

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What is being coach-like?

• Curiosity- Massive curiosity!  What's behind a comment someone made? What is creating someone's bad mood? Imagine someone being in a bad mood during the best part of their day. How bad is the rest of their day? Be curious.

• Asking questions- Not only asking questions, but the right kind of questions. Like open-ended or closed-ended. This program with teach you the difference and when to use each and why. Next time someone makes a statement about something just respond, "Say more about that." At first they will be shocked because no one really expressed interest in their feelings, but then the flood gates may open up and they will share a lot. A lot. And THAT is where your deacon calling is joined with the Holy Spirit.

• Emotions- Your emotions should always be neutral. Or appear neutral. Your leadership skills are helpful when the person you are engaging becomes emotional. The coaching program will introduce you to the eight competencies of emotional intelligence so you will recognize the level of expression and patterns in people. And you will learn about how you use emotions, as well.

• Control your Advice Monster- Some people always look for other's advice. It takes self-responsibility and puts it on a shelf with no accountability. But if you are curious about them, ask powerful questions, and manage your emotions you will lead your parishioner, or anyone for that matter, to their own conclusions and solutions. And if you want a solution to stick give them the opportunity to find it on their own. Don't tell them. Giving advice will not do that.

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